Reminiscing is tough

Man have I felt weird today. It seems every few weeks or so where I slip into this mind frame where I get stuck procrastinating, reminiscing time gone by, school, summer, road trips, traveling, friends – and it usually triggered by spending times with some friends. Right now it’s saying goodbye to our good friend Neil. Neil actually represents a lot that has gone on in my life; from the moment I realized I loved traveling to the moment I loved Dannie to the moment Dannie and I got married – so maybe that’s why its weird saying goodbye? I remember just before leaving the UK I was spending some time with Thomas and Joe discussing how our University lives took the paths they did and how strange it felt that we were all heading off after these 4 years of studentism and just as I was finding it hard saying “goodbye” someone said, “it’s not really goodbye, it’s cya later.” Instantly that made me feel better – I hate goodbyes.

My trouble is that I hold on to things for too long and I find I am far too sentimental, and it puts me in the mood I am in right now. So what am I feeling sentimental about? I miss being in Huddersfield. I really miss hanging out with Dannie Chris and Pete in the flat, playing guitar hero, cooking with Dannie, taking a trip to Sainsburys, having a weekly meal in the New Wharf, watching Raw at 2am, staying up to hardcore hour with Pete, rushing our projects. What an awesome year it was! I guess sometimes I feel it ended so abruptly, that I never really got chance to say a good goodbye to that lifestyle (6am to 1pm, not 12-8am) and goodbye to hanging out all night long. Being in the environment where we were al in the same boat work wise, trying to beat those deadlines, printing our work at 5am catching a galaxy bar from the vending machine on the way to our secluded flat. I think I speak for both me and Dannie when I say that year went by too fast. What a brilliant time we had though – it was perfect.

So I feel all weird about this. And like I said, it’s usually triggered by having my ‘new’ friends around. 3 weeks ago, me and Dannie hung out with Kim and Andrew all weekend, Friday till 1am Sunday, and after it was all done and everyone had gone home, I sunk, sunk real deep. I guess it made me miss the old days with the flat and having that similar environment around triggered these reminiscing thoughts. And now with Neil leaving, I am getting the same feelings.But really, what the hell do I have to feel down about? My life is going real swell right now. Amazing wife, great job, great friends, great ambitions, great car. I am convinced that it’s not bad having these nostalgic moments though – I don’t consider myself to be selfish. I appreciate everything thats happened to me. I sat for 2 hours tonight viewing my photos over the year in Huddersfield, laughing, remembering that great year me and Dannie had. I am incredibly lucky to have lived the life I have lived so far. I have met some great people along the way, all helping me get to where I am today and I have no hard feelings with feeling lost from time to time missing these people. Like someone said, “it’s not goodbye, it’s cya later” – I know I will do all these things with my great friends again – one day.